New Life - Easter 2015

Ah, the tear in my soul
has been wrenched open
Again
The longing once assumed to be filled
Has revived
Threatening to spoil the good in proximity
Ripping away the hope
Once tentatively and tenderly grasped
So the shameful clammering resumes
And death
once again knocks on my splintered chest
Planning to permeate my soul

Emotions held captive
in a protective bubble within my heart
Has Burst open
A tiring voice implores, "Why?"
"Why now, when I have begun to taste freedom...?"
Unrest and disappointment
Threaten
To Leech back into the aching sections of my soul

I must keep sight of the gifts already given
And the good laid out in front of me
On the banqueting table
But the longing is so strong
And present
What if there's a chance
To grasp the unattainable?
To become worthy of the infatuation desired
What if there's something
Something I can do
to prove
I am lovable
Or Something I can say
That would turn dismissal
into adoration
Hoping for
A 'love' that would conform
to the selfish vision my broken eyes have seen
Through a dark veil of selfish desperation

So these subtle
And often subconscious
inquiries
haunt my soul
They rip and tear
at my fragile internal peace
But I hear another,
Speak
Speak against my desperate plans:

"Do not give in to the fear
Of missing out
Or let the false replace the true
Or allow the hypothetical ideal
trump the proven experience
This will dismantle your hope
And erode your self worth
Disintegrating a future
Ready for you
So, my child
Die to your often accepted lies
And the ingrained misconceptions
You've bathed in for so long"

"But be careful
for the truth may seem
A foreign territory
For one who has trusted
and listened
To the fickle
And twisted world for so long

Accepting lies as truth
Is an easy trap to fall into
But take courage!
I have overcome the world!"

"So come forth!
Out of the cave of darkness
Rise!
From the path of death
Rise!
To the true life set before you
Rise!
From the coffin of fruitless longing
Rise!
Embrace the love freely given
Rise!
Hold on to the intimacy offered"

"Rise!
To new life"



written April 5, 2015 (Easter Sunday)